One year ago, on July 5th, my mom died. I was so sad. And there are many times now that I wander around our home, just saying out loud to no one in particular, "Mom, mom, mom - I miss you so much!" I don't dwell on her being gone as much as I think about her and what she meant to me!
Here is her life story that I wrote for her eulogy. She was buried at sea off of Oceanside on a beautiful day July, 2009.
Remembering My Mom
Auguste Minna Loos (nee Starke)
October 9, 1918 - July 5, 2009
Fallbrook CA
My mom went home to be with the LORD at 2 a.m. on July 5, 2009. She lived a full and wonderful life! She was a compassionate, caring, diplomate in all matters concerning her family!
All who knew my mom loved her!
She had many names -- partly because she disliked her given name. Her children called her Mami. To her grandchildren & great-grandchildren, she was Omi! Other family & friends called her Gussie, Gustel or Gusti. My dad called her Gustel-chin - a beloved German endearment.
Her first 30 years were spent in West Germany, where she was born in Nienberg am der Weser to her parents, Wilhelm & Doris Starke. She was #4 out of 5 children. She was the lone survivor of this family. She had one daughter, Ursula in May 1940. She married Gerhard in March 1950.
Her next 30 years were in New Jersey with my dad, Ursula and the twins, Jerry & Dotty. Born in December 1953, the twins brought much joy to her. They lived a prosperous life in Morristown.
She has one granddaughter, Deborah, 3 grandsons, Craig, Michael & Christopher. She adored her 5 great-grandsons - Andrew, Dylan, Bryan, Nathan & Jason
California became her final home state, first in Sacramento and then Fallbrook. She loved California because she was near to her daughters and grandchildren. She missed her son much as he lived in Florida with his family. Gustel & Gerhard visited Florida often! In Fallbrook, she lived with her daughter, Dotty & husband, Bill for 3 years. She loved their home and being pampered. Gabby was her favorite Labrador!
There is so much more to say - she was a homemaker, waitress, hostess, mother, aunt, grandmother, sister, seamstress, wonderful German cook, knitter, crocheter, embroideryer, friend.
Her life was filled with joys & sorrows as most are, but she always found the good in everyone and made sure we all knew it too! She loved her kids a lot.
We will miss her a bunch but know that she is no longer suffering and is joyfully looking down upon us! She is survived by her son & wife, Jerry & Kathy, her daughter & husband, Dotty & Bill, and grandson & wife, Craig & Kathy (& their sons), grandaughter, Deborah (& her son), grandson & wife, Michael & Lerin (& their two boys) & grandson, Christopher & fiance, Denielle. She was predeceased by her husband, Gerhard (2002) & her daughter Ursula (2005).
In lieu of flowers, if you wish, please send a donation to the Foundation for Senior Care, PO Box 2155 Fallbrook CA 92088.
My mom loved Fallbrook and her friends here. She is missed by all of us!
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Heating Pads and Neuropathy
My mom was always saying how she couldn't feel her feet due to diabetic neuropathy. She complained of numbness and that it was hard for her to pick up her feet, and she shuffled. I'm sure you know the routine -- soaking her feet each night in epsom salts. Not that it did much but to make her feel like she was doing something!
And here's what happened, December 2nd, 2008, I got a call from my mom at work in the morning, that "a lot of skin fell off my right foot." "Oh really," I replied. For the life of me I couldn't figure out why. So, I asked, "What happened?" and her answer was that she had used a heating pad the whole night before set on high! "Yikes!" was my immediate response. My question of "why?" was answered with "my feet felt cold." Which meant she touched her feet and they were cold. It didn't mean she could feel her feet!
OK - let's fast forward. Months of treating with antibiotics, foot soaks, doctor visits, creams applied, bandages applied sometimes 2 or 3 times a day. What did I get myself into? My mom was a wonderful patient, never complained and was so grateful which certainly made all the hassles worth it! We prayed for her wound to heal but it did not.
In February and March she had two TIAs (transischemic attacks) that caused her to not quite be herself. I had to do a lot more for her than ever before. But that story lends itself to another blog.
By June 1st, my sweet 90-1/2 year old mom was feeling very poorly. She had diarrhea & felt nauseated all the time. She barely ate. Then on Saturday morning, June 20th, my mom fell at 5 a.m. and I found her on the floor in her bedroom at 6:00 a.m.. She was so weak, so sick and I was so sad. I called 9-1-1. The paramedics came right away. They took her to the hospital where she was admitted with something called C-diff (Clostridium difficile). Wikipedia defines: Clostridia are anaerobic, spore-forming rods (bacilli).[2] C. difficile is the most serious cause of antibiotic-associated diarrhea (AAD) and can lead to pseudomembranous colitis, a severe infection of the colon, often resulting from eradication of the normal gut flora by antibiotics.[3] The C. difficile bacteria, which naturally reside in the body, become overpopulated: The overpopulation is harmful because the bacterium releases toxins that can cause bloating, constipation, and diarrhea with abdominal pain, which may become severe. Latent symptoms often mimic some flu-like symptoms. Often, it can be cured simply by discontinuing the antibiotics responsible.[2] In more serious cases, oral administration of metronidazole or vancomycin is the treatment of choice. Relapses of C. difficile AAD have been reported in up to 20% of cases.[2] Of course by now, she had lost over 20 pounds, is not able to eat and is not doing well. Discontinuing the anitbiotics was too late even though the doctor tried with all he had.
I asked the most difficult question of the doctor, "Will my mom ever get better? Or is she dying?" The sweet doctor replied, "Your mom is very sick and she is old. This will make it nearly impossible for her to recover." So after 7 days in the hospital (not fun at all, but that too is another blog), I asked for hospice care and brought her home on June 26th. She spent the next week, very sick, unable to get out bed or care for herself. I took off from work, spent each night in her room on an Aerobed and cared for her each day. Meds, bed changes, other changes (you know what I mean), taking her vitals, and feeding her ice chips and thickened water. She could not tolerate anything else. I knew her time was short.
I called my family members, all of them out of town - Sacramento & Florida, to either get on a plane and come or talk with her on the phone. She was able to speak with all of them barely. She could hear them and nod her head and I translated. My youngest nephew was on a Coast Guard ship and, even he was able to call and talk with Omi (a favorite German word for grandmother). I asked my mom, "Mom do you have any regrets?" and her soft, quiet reply, "No" made me so happy to know she lived a great life!
On July 5th at 2:11 a.m., I was awoken to no sounds coming from my mom's bed. She had gone home to meet Jesus! I was saddened but happy she no longer had to suffer! She looked so peaceful and at rest.
So a word of caution to all of you with elderly parents and heating pads -- get rid of them or get the ones with an automatic shutoff after 2 hours or less. My mom lived with us and I thought I had her pretty well monitored and she still managed to burn her foot with a heating pad. I know it wasn't done intentionally but the elderly do have a tendency to not think in the long run!
I pass my mom's story on to you in the hopes that you will be able to help your parent before it gets to the stage that my mom got.
My mom's memory lives on in me! And when I look in the mirror, part of her stares back at me!
And here's what happened, December 2nd, 2008, I got a call from my mom at work in the morning, that "a lot of skin fell off my right foot." "Oh really," I replied. For the life of me I couldn't figure out why. So, I asked, "What happened?" and her answer was that she had used a heating pad the whole night before set on high! "Yikes!" was my immediate response. My question of "why?" was answered with "my feet felt cold." Which meant she touched her feet and they were cold. It didn't mean she could feel her feet!
OK - let's fast forward. Months of treating with antibiotics, foot soaks, doctor visits, creams applied, bandages applied sometimes 2 or 3 times a day. What did I get myself into? My mom was a wonderful patient, never complained and was so grateful which certainly made all the hassles worth it! We prayed for her wound to heal but it did not.
In February and March she had two TIAs (transischemic attacks) that caused her to not quite be herself. I had to do a lot more for her than ever before. But that story lends itself to another blog.
By June 1st, my sweet 90-1/2 year old mom was feeling very poorly. She had diarrhea & felt nauseated all the time. She barely ate. Then on Saturday morning, June 20th, my mom fell at 5 a.m. and I found her on the floor in her bedroom at 6:00 a.m.. She was so weak, so sick and I was so sad. I called 9-1-1. The paramedics came right away. They took her to the hospital where she was admitted with something called C-diff (Clostridium difficile). Wikipedia defines: Clostridia are anaerobic, spore-forming rods (bacilli).[2] C. difficile is the most serious cause of antibiotic-associated diarrhea (AAD) and can lead to pseudomembranous colitis, a severe infection of the colon, often resulting from eradication of the normal gut flora by antibiotics.[3] The C. difficile bacteria, which naturally reside in the body, become overpopulated: The overpopulation is harmful because the bacterium releases toxins that can cause bloating, constipation, and diarrhea with abdominal pain, which may become severe. Latent symptoms often mimic some flu-like symptoms. Often, it can be cured simply by discontinuing the antibiotics responsible.[2] In more serious cases, oral administration of metronidazole or vancomycin is the treatment of choice. Relapses of C. difficile AAD have been reported in up to 20% of cases.[2] Of course by now, she had lost over 20 pounds, is not able to eat and is not doing well. Discontinuing the anitbiotics was too late even though the doctor tried with all he had.
I asked the most difficult question of the doctor, "Will my mom ever get better? Or is she dying?" The sweet doctor replied, "Your mom is very sick and she is old. This will make it nearly impossible for her to recover." So after 7 days in the hospital (not fun at all, but that too is another blog), I asked for hospice care and brought her home on June 26th. She spent the next week, very sick, unable to get out bed or care for herself. I took off from work, spent each night in her room on an Aerobed and cared for her each day. Meds, bed changes, other changes (you know what I mean), taking her vitals, and feeding her ice chips and thickened water. She could not tolerate anything else. I knew her time was short.
I called my family members, all of them out of town - Sacramento & Florida, to either get on a plane and come or talk with her on the phone. She was able to speak with all of them barely. She could hear them and nod her head and I translated. My youngest nephew was on a Coast Guard ship and, even he was able to call and talk with Omi (a favorite German word for grandmother). I asked my mom, "Mom do you have any regrets?" and her soft, quiet reply, "No" made me so happy to know she lived a great life!
On July 5th at 2:11 a.m., I was awoken to no sounds coming from my mom's bed. She had gone home to meet Jesus! I was saddened but happy she no longer had to suffer! She looked so peaceful and at rest.
So a word of caution to all of you with elderly parents and heating pads -- get rid of them or get the ones with an automatic shutoff after 2 hours or less. My mom lived with us and I thought I had her pretty well monitored and she still managed to burn her foot with a heating pad. I know it wasn't done intentionally but the elderly do have a tendency to not think in the long run!
I pass my mom's story on to you in the hopes that you will be able to help your parent before it gets to the stage that my mom got.
My mom's memory lives on in me! And when I look in the mirror, part of her stares back at me!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Those darn throw rugs!
There are also so many other "dangers" lurking in my mom's home!
For instance, the chair that serves as a "ladder" for the small picture hanging. Where the handle of the "knife" serves as a temporary hammer! Then there's the refrigerator looming with mold, germs, old food, spilled food, etc. You know what's there because you have seen it too!
Now let's head to the bathroom - yuck! Mom! Really? Everything needs a good splash of chlorine!
Medications? Need I say anymore?
I loved my mom! And I know one day that will be me!
So as the Executive Director for the Foundation for Senior Care in Fallbrook we offer wonderful services for the seniors in our community!
Visit our website, donate to our cause, we love the support we receive from Fallbrook. Thank you!
There are also so many other "dangers" lurking in my mom's home!
For instance, the chair that serves as a "ladder" for the small picture hanging. Where the handle of the "knife" serves as a temporary hammer! Then there's the refrigerator looming with mold, germs, old food, spilled food, etc. You know what's there because you have seen it too!
Now let's head to the bathroom - yuck! Mom! Really? Everything needs a good splash of chlorine!
Medications? Need I say anymore?
I loved my mom! And I know one day that will be me!
So as the Executive Director for the Foundation for Senior Care in Fallbrook we offer wonderful services for the seniors in our community!
Visit our website, donate to our cause, we love the support we receive from Fallbrook. Thank you!
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